Hello everyone. I know it’s been a little longer than usual since I’ve been on here. I’ve been thinking about it for days, without taking action. I have been inspired and motivated to change throughout this time, while continuing to recognize my old habits sneak through. I have now finished 4 motivational books on Audible – the last which only took me 2 days (due to a 6 hour car ride and my 20-30 minute commute to work thanks to the snow). I have been practicing gratitude in my mind, and my soul, but inconsistently on paper. I wanted to make this post about my thoughts throughout this journey so far. I want to point out that this is the area I have struggled with most and also have been so grateful for.
Listening to different perspectives on improving the life I am living has reached into my subconscious and pulled things out that have made me terrified, confused, and exhilarated all in one. Sometimes I have so many thoughts at once that I feel the need to sit down and review everything I’ve learned and take notes on the points that struck the closest to me. I suppose this is a huge reason to meditate – to hear those thoughts, acknowledge them, thank them for arriving, and push away the ones that are not contributing to my ultimate happiness. Something I am still practicing, like a child with a violin. The noise is still loud, disconnected, and not quite musical, but I know if I practice long enough that eventually I will be playing in the orchestra of life. Speaking of musical instruments – I would like to rediscover my joy for playing guitar, singing, and creating my own songs – but more on that later.
I’m going to give you the raw, naked, vulnerable and exposed thoughts that are helping me transform from extraordinary to genius. I am going to write down all of the things that I have been thinking that are going to contribute to my success in living a life I am so thrilled to be waking up to day after day, even if I have yet to discover the how. So here it is, strings of connected thoughts that I hope people can relate to, or at least follow, and so I can reflect on to bring more clarity to my goals and my why.
I am hitting a speed bump in my healthy body and healthy eating: I am exercising more consistently than before and I am celebrating that. I feel good about my body when I look in the mirror and can see a transformation physically. I still feel I can push myself further when I go to the gym. I think a classroom, organized exercise session is more suited to me. I am debating hiring a personal trainer again to force me to stay committed to consistent and progressive exercise. What is stopping me? Money. Why? I feel I can achieve similar results with organized classes rather than 1 on 1 sessions. No. I am afraid I am spending money frivolously. What is my goal with my healthy body? To be strong enough to do ANYTHING I want to do for as long as I want to do it. I can afford a trainer, and will evaluate my budget to determine what I can cut back on that is not contributing to my ultimate holistic version of myself. I do enjoy the pain the next day – it tells me that I did something. I enjoy the pain when I push through barriers and do the plank for the extra 10 seconds, do that extra rep, add an extra 10lb etc. To end on a positive note: when I went to the gym last night, during my night shift, I actually felt stronger while holding a plank for 30 seconds, and while doing my ab exercises. This feeling is something I will reflect on when I hesitate going to the gym, or signing up for an exercise class.
I am finding it hard to sustain a true belief that I am financially free: Finances is not something I really struggle with, but feeling I deserve to be rich is a belief I still need to practice at. I am stepping out of my comfort zone. I have recently become a part business owner but I find it difficult to believe. I watched a video recently which explained all of the great reasons and struggles I will encounter with network marketing. In it are many successful individuals that I’m sure most (if not all) of you will recognize, and it helps to contribute to my rising belief that I have entered the right business. So why am I still struggling with this? I am stepping out of my comfort zone. I feel like a fraud. I feel like I am another person asking people close to me to buy, buy, buy and I’m afraid my passion will taint the relationships I have already built. But I am building new relationships. I feel I am not yet a part of the community, despite the warm welcome by my mentors and the people I have met. once again, I am afraid this business will be difficult, will change my relationships, and will fail. I keep reminding myself that I need to take risks. I am not expecting to become rich from this one entrepreneurial adventure, but perhaps it is not because I don’t believe in the product or the business but because it’s more comfortable to believe I won’t be good so the failure is easier. I recently learned of the 5 second rule – this is how long it takes for your mind to change, to convince yourself not to do something. If you start to take action within 5 seconds of your initial motivational thought, your mind won’t change and you will achieve your goals. For example, every time I think: I will contact this person about my passion for healthier living, I will count down from 5 as I’m taking action, I will open up my phone, and send a text message, or a facebook message. Once again, to end this string of thoughts on a positive note I am so thankful for the money I already have. I am thankful that I can afford to eat well, to fill basic needs such as housing and transportation, and still afford luxuries such as travel, gifts for loved ones, coffee dates, and dinners out. I am so thankful to be mindful of my spending and to welcome wealth into my life with open arms. Here’s a reminder of all I have done with money. A reminder that money continues to flow toward me with ease and provide me with freedom:
Upon writing these thoughts I have already gained clarity into some barriers that I can break through. Having recently read The Big Leap I can say, I recognize some of my “upper limit problems” and can now break through those barriers. I am so grateful for this journey, for the knowledge and insight I am gaining daily about myself and the universe.