Overall transformation


As I feel the year going forward, the minutes and the days passing by, I can feel my inspiration and motivation falling away. I am beginning to feel like my positive attitude about life and my gratitude and confidence in my transformation are fading in the background of day to day life. The reason I highlighted beginning is because I know by being conscious of this feeling, and catching it before it grows, I can STOP. I know it’s normal to slip back into my comfort zone, to justify reasons why my great life is great enough and to not move forward. Yes, I do have a great life, and I have lots going for me so it’s easy to be convinced that I don’t need more. The point is, I know I can be better. I CAN live a life that I wake up every day with no complaints. I CAN live a life where the problems I encounter daily are problems I enjoy solving, and help me learn. Sometimes our social norms and the people I encounter daily make me believe that there is nothing better, that I am doing what I always do and that is good enough. More than society – I am my worst critic and when I notice the feeling of failure creeping up I feed into those feelings and tell myself that I don’t need more, that I can fit into the norm and be happy – UNTIL I reflect. That’s what this post is really about. It’s about looking at those negative feelings and thoughts, the fears that this is just another phase in my life that will pass and I will go on living like the majority of the world sees… and saying to them “NO”, I will not give in to negative thoughts, and I will not give up. Every time I feel overwhelmed, I will instead CELEBRATE.

I am so happy and grateful that I have started a blog, continue to write in it, and post pictures. I am putting my thoughts and my life and my journey out there for the world to see, and I am not stopping. I will continue to learn how to improve this blog so that others may benefit from the knowledge I am gaining throughout this journey. I will continue to help other people find the healthiness within themselves and find ways to wake up every day in their lives and say “thank you, universe, for the life I get to live every day”.

I am celebrating that every time I look in the mirror now, I see myself getting stronger. I know strength doesn’t happen overnight, but even after only a month and a half I can visibly see a difference. I am still exercising daily, even if only minimally. I have begun using an app that I really enjoy, that helps build daily habits and reminds me to do just a small amount of exercise each day. Today I felt disappointment creep up when I hit the “snooze” button on the app’s question “did you exercise”, but I am celebrating that even though I didn’t do a workout first thing this morning, I made it to the gym and got sweaty and felt stronger! I can see my body changing for the better and am excited to continue this part of my journey.

My expression of gratitude has also increased. Sometimes I hear the little voice of doubt in my mind saying “how can I be grateful for this situation? Why can’t I just be negative for once. It feels good, and I am only human after all”. I am celebrating that when I hear this voice, I turn it around and find something to be grateful for.  Even days that I am feeling tired and less motivated I pick up my gratitude journal and write in it. It takes only one thing to get the juices flowing and remind me of everything else I am grateful for. I am grateful for the knowledge I continue to gain about myself, about the life I am living, about the profession that I have and how to become the happiest, healthiest, version of myself.

I would like to celebrate that I have stepped outside of my comfort zone more, even if just a little. Each little step outside of my comfort zone brings me closer to a life without complaint, with only happiness and joy and freedom.  I am using the 5 second rule even more. If I haven’t explained this before, I read it in a magazine so I can’t take credit for it, but here it is: it takes 5 seconds for your mind to change, so if you count down 5-4-3-2-1 while you are taking action, you won’t convince yourself not to do the good habit you want to do. For example, when you want to exercise, and think about it while you’re sitting on the couch, count down 5-4- stand up 3-2 put on your workout clothing – 1 begin exercising at home or head to the gym. When you really want to watch TV but know you should do something productive instead, count 5-4 step away from the TV – 3 – turn on motivating music – 2-1 – start cleaning the house (or start writing your blog, or your book, or pick up a motivational book etc). I will continue to work on this area too, stepping outside of my comfort zone by counting down every time I’m scared to contact someone about my business or learn something new or make new friends etc.

Finally, I’m celebrating that I am continuing to take steps toward becoming independent and learning about living the healthiest, best, life I can live. I am taking steps to go to more exercise classes, stock my pantry and my fridge with healthy food, read (and listen) to many motivational books that are teaching me how to step outside of my comfort zone and be successful, and write down things that I am learning.

I just want to end this post with another positive note. I am confident that each time I hear a little voice telling me that “I’m just dreaming and this isn’t reality”, “This is tough, and I’m not sure I can do it”or “I’m worried and nervous that I’ll fail. I fear I’ll lose people in my life because I am changing”, I will recognize the voice, thank it for motivating me and reminding me it is false, and push it away.

I am still not entirely sure what I will be doing in 5 years, or maybe exactly where I will be living, but I know I will have enough money and time to be heading towards living a life where I wake up excited to be me, and continue that excitement and motivation every day. Health is a big part of this journey, and I’m excited to look ahead and continue.

Healthy mind

Vacation mode

I realize I have been absent for a little while and I am sorry. I know I have few followers and it may seem like I’m just the “little blog hidden behind a lot of big ones”, but what’s important is that I tenderly love and care for this little piece of art, and help it flower like my goals.

I have taken a lovely trip to the Big Island, Hawaii. I brought along my little laptop, I have the app on my phone (which I’m using right now), and I had every intention of writing more often while here. The point is, while focusing on exercising and eating well is important to my overall transformation, it’s easy to forget the bigger picture when distracted by things such as palm trees, tropical fish, and volcanoes. Not to say one shouldn’t enjoy a vacation, time off to relax away from technology. I also didn’t want to spend my vacation staring through a screen. So, I have two points: while on vacation don’t let your goals get swept under the carpet and remember the big picture, AND take time to enjoy where you are, every moment, every day.

Now, I’d like to share a bit of my time here, since we booked this vacation mainly for a “mental health break”. We knew a trip somewhere warm and free was necessary to get back on track to feeling good in body, mind, and soul and let me tell you: it has been!

We have now been here for 7 days and though we weren’t hopping on tour buses or planning something adventurous and spectacular every day, we have had a great vacation so far. We started out on the sunny side, in Kailua Kona, drove around the entire coast of this Western side over the following few days, getting in some snorkel, some swimming, and some sand of all colors (even green!). We hoped to go diving, but due to the high surf were unable for safety reasons. Yes, I was a little sad about that but then I remembered to be grateful. So grateful we can still experience the beautiful sea of Kona, get sunshine (aka the happy vitamin), meet amazing people at the air bnb places we booked, and eat amazing fresh Hawaiian food. We headed to the highlight of the island for the next 3 days, the more rainy ‘cooler’ side – Volcano. Yes, the actual thing that spurts lava, only more of a slow slug-slime like crawl, and hard, sharp, crusted black lava we walked on. We did A LOT of hiking. I did 28,000 steps on my fitbit one day, and over 30,000 the next! I am so grateful I can still get exercise while seeing amazing sites! I must say, Mother Nature is quite impressive and the entire time were exploring all I could think was how grateful I am to be able to appreciate this wonderful phenomenon created by Mother Nature herself, and the great amount of respect I have for her and her creations.

Of course, we still enjoyed sunshine even at high altitude, and had begun to enjoy more than just one scoop of ice cream. Just a few days ago, I confess, I indulged in more gluttony than my new me would approve of, but wow did we experience the culture. I found a community of people calling out to me with their multicolored and tye-dyed shirts, their dread locks and flowy sarongs with loose hair and no makeup. I was reminded of the days when I cared less and I wouldn’t have even considered bringing my hair straightener or makeup – both of which I actually did bring and never used. I also packed too many clothes. I didn’t wear 2 shirts, a dress, or any of the warm clothes I brought for the one day we had planned on the top of the volcano (which does have snow on it btw, but which we didn’t go to because we didn’t feel it was worth it after exploring reviews and prices a little deeper).

Now I sit here, our last night, appreciating the cool breeze, the sound of crickets and birds and the experiences we have had this past week. We booked a last minute night dive with Manta Rays that was, sadly, cancelled due to a sudden shift of winds that caused a high swell and dangerous sea. I was sad, which is okay. I mourned the loss of that experience but then I thought, what gratitude can I get out of this. I admit I am still practicing so it was hard to squeeze out the positive at first – grateful the company values our safety, grateful I remained safe on land and the wind switched before the boat left… then we decided to walk around town, visit the local beach and watch the sunset.. Now I am truly grateful we didn’t squeeze in too much activity, we could relax on our last night, enjoy each others company. I’m so grateful we still have tomorrow morning to enjoy here and we can afford, and will, return to dive when the time is right.

So much went well about this trip, and we saw so many sites I couldn’t fit it on an hour long page, so I will leave you with a few photos.

I really got in touch with my spiritual healthiness, and my healthy mind, even if the healthy diet didn’t continue 100% after the first few days. I feel a positive change in my journey, I feel the energy changing and I’m so excited.