The hardest part of this transformation so far is giving up old thought patterns and actions that follow. I don’t even notice these thoughts until after I’ve succumbed to them and I look back at the day and realize why I wasn’t so productive. Yesterday was one of those days that helped me realize how hard I will have to work to fully achieve my goals.
I woke up, not particularly motivated, after my night shift. I told myself that because I exercised during my night shift, and it was around 4:30am when I got to the gym, that I didn’t need to exercise today. I still had my healthy smoothie and breakfast – though it was such a blah day I can’t even remember what I ate for breakfast.. perhaps a boiled egg and a smoothie was all. I putzed around the house putting together lists of tasks I wanted to accomplish: clean, make a vision board, make appointment for the cat (just a check-up). I cleaned a bit, made snacks, cleaned up the mess I made to have the snacks, went on the computer and looked at motivational pictures on Pinterest, went downstairs and watched a movie with my laptop – that died about 10 minutes into it – then went back on the computer to create my vision board, before deciding it was a satisfying time to go to bed. I did manage to make the appointment in the morning when I was still fresh with the day but then found no motivation to do anything beyond that one task.
This mindset I’m talking about, is the voice in my head that convinced me (almost subconsciously) that old habits were fine. This voice said things like: “you worked nights, it’s okay to be lazy”, “you deserve a rest day, you’ve worked hard all week”, “you still ate healthy so that’s enough”, and “the house looks good just the way it is, there’s no point in sweeping when it’s just you at home”. At the end of the day, while getting back motivation near midnight as I finished my vision board on the computer, I replayed these voices and realized that this is the hardest part of change. I said “NO EXCUSES” is my mantra this year, and I’ve already had so many excuses, but I can’t be so hard on myself either. Recognizing these negative thoughts and these compelling voices is the first step to changing them. Dissecting these excuses will help me overcome them. I realized that part of the reason I felt unmotivated was because I didn’t have any concrete goals for this transformation. First, I need to trust and believe in the universe that if I can think it I will have it, but secondly (and to the point of this entry) I need to be specific about these desires in order to not lose my way. Even if I start by setting a tiny goal for every day and a big goal for every month, I needed a more clear vision in order to ignore the voices and get up and get moving. From now on, I will make very clear goals, as I use in my profession often: SMART goals. This is an acronym to describe how I will be able to clearly see my desires and transform them into a plan: S – Specific, M – Measurable, A – Attainable, R – Realistic, and T – Timely.
One thing that I have realized is that I am not as good at taking photos of my journey as I thought I would be. I planned on having a photo for every blog post, every day on Instagram, and every step of my journey. Then, I get to the gym or finish a class and drive home and then realize: darn, I didn’t get a photo. Sure, it is important to just enjoy the process and not worry about capturing moments sometimes but for the purpose of motivating and inspiring others this is something I feel is important to reach one of my many desires: to have freedom to do what I desire while making money helping others. So, I’ll start with this goal: S – I will take at least one photo a day of my healthy changes, M – I will post at least one photo for each blog post, A – This is attainable if I have my cellphone on my and set a reminder every time I have a workout or event, R – This is realistic because I always have my cell phone on me, T – I will be doing this consistently by the end of January.
To begin, Here’s a photo of my vision board, and my post-workout feels (as seen on my Instagram):
I also want to point out that my journey will never truly be over. Once I achieve strength I will continue to work on that strength every day and make it a habit. Once I achieve a financial freedom I will continue to appreciate money and use it wisely and use it to achieve even more greatness for the world. Once I do a long distance bicycle ride I will continue to cycle and plan more rides. Life is a journey, and the point of this is not to end, but to be IN the life that I know I should be living. So, now that I’ve shown you some of my visions (I’m sure I will continue to adapt them as I grow and change), I’d like to make one more goal – a little bigger and more long-term than the one above:
S – I will feel and look stronger than I currently am
M – I will show my strength by doing 10 chin-ups and 30 push-ups
A – I can attain this goal because I will continue to do strength exercises to work out these muscles a minimum of 4 times a week
R – This is realistic because I have the access to gyms and classes that will help me stay accountable to my body and strength, I have equipment at home, and I know that I was once strong enough to lift my own body and will be again.
T – This goal will be achieved within 3 years.
Strength is something I have always had a desire and a love-hate relationship with. At my strongest I could easily do 30 push-ups (okay, not easy, but attainable). I would deliver newspapers in high-school at 5am, come home and do 25 push-ups and 25 sit-ups, have a shower, eat a healthy breakfast, go to school, come home and go to dance where I might do another 25 push-ups or so plus a number of other strength exercises I completely took for granted. Many people (including myself) would tell themselves “yeah, well that was high-school! You can never have the same body as you did in high-school!” – well, I aim to prove that little voice wrong! I have seen and read many stories of transformations. I have also met people who have made the decision to be strong, and then gone ahead and done it! I know I will be one of those people – I AM one of those people, and I look forward to the change, even the pain and the struggle in between.